I’ve been working on a very personal project lately. It has kept me up at night. It has been living in my heart and my head ever since it was conceived, during the darkest days that I can remember.
It has been gestating every day since, growing and changing at an alarming rate of speed. It’s taken on a life of its own in my heart and in my soul. As far as ‘babies’ go, it’s not as easy to love as most, but it has its own beautiful appeal. It has shown me the value of being whole hearted, vulnerable, and willing to take a risk, and it has made me see the lesson in embracing emotion.
We learn early on that some emotions are accepted, and even encouraged. Emotions like sadness, pain and grief are relegated to private rooms, and hidden places, or often, not at all.
My own journey has allowed me to see the true gifts of feeling emotion and looking at pain honestly and in finding the gifts that feeling gives me.
This brings me to ‘Beauty In The Breakdown’, my personal project about allowing myself to feel the emotions that I have always suppressed. I have seen first hand that the one thing I fear that others would see, is not nearly as terrible as I imagined. In fact, those images are some of the ones that are most dear to me in life.
This project has also allowed me to draw kindred souls to me.
These beautiful women answered a call to action, and they did it with blind faith. I am humbled and honoured that they put their fear aside, and stepped in front of my lens, and allowed me to witness the raw beauty of their pain. I can’t tell you the power of connecting with the beautiful emotion of another person for no other reason than to share the experience. I honour the authentic vulnerability laid bare for me to witness. These images of real feelings are more meaningful to me than any smiling photograph could ever be, and as it turns out, they are achingly beautiful in their realness.
Without exception, the tears for these sessions started in the lobby, and often within moments. What I have learned, is that people aren’t at all afraid to cry, if they are given the support and encouragement to do so. Crying isn’t weakness. Crying is strength. No one gets to the other side of the pain river without losing some tears, and as we journey toward the resolution, our travels become easier.
I’ve made some big decisions about the future, and some are making me feel some fear. I am jumping off my indecision and heading toward my future, as uncertain as it may be to me right now.
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.
If you think you might benefit from volunteering to be a part of my project, please contact me.